I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm passing your future prison.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Your cock deserves a montage
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
