Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
