I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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