Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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