Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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