My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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