i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
