there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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