I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
