its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
they're like a gay fantastic four
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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