it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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