hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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