five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sext me about skeletons
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
