you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
