THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
