Grow some girl-balls and come out already
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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