47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
