I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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