Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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