You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
