Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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