fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
