There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
