And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
