i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
