my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
