He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
