Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
