Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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