I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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