Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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