Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My feet surprised me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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