capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
