The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
