just come out here and I will go home with you...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
