Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
