watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
