i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
