I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
