I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
