walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
