im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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