i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
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