you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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