just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
