she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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