This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
