....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
