My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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