We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
