16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
