He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize