She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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