All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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