so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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