HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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