I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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