the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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