he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize