Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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