it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
NoShamevember. You game?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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