What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Michael Bay diarrhea
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
