My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
