I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Randomize
