Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
