...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize