Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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