I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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