i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
