I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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